That about sums it up

Click to see it: Bigger/Better! It's so worth it.

Cartoon a day (but really all at once): 14

Osvaldo Cavandoli- La Linea (This man and my grandpappy were friends. Apparently he could use his mouth to do a wonderful impression of the sound of a ping pong game being played at increasing velocity. His animations are pretty great too.)

Cartoon a day (but really all at once): 13

Calimero- "The Black Chick" Another animation my grandpappy worked on which is also a commercial (this time for soap.) "Are you my mother?" Heart meltingly cute.

Cartoon a day (but really all at once): 12

Looney Tunes- Swooner Crooner (makes me swoon, and wanna croon)

Cartoon a day (but really all at once): 11

Paramount- Popeye "Big Bad Sinbad" Oh my goodness: Look for a moment with popeye, his pipe, and a tree at 3:25.

Cartoon a day (but really all at once): 10

Paramount (directed by a Fleischer)- Popeye "Goonland"

"Think I'll take a good look. Yup that's it alright." (2:57) The music's pretty great too.

Cartoon a day (but really all at once): 9

Looney Tunes- Baseball Bugs (when he catches his own baseball at 3 minutes, and gets slammed out of frame: oh my god.)

This is a lower quality version, I couldn't embed the better one. But you can watch it here.

Cartoon a day (but really all at once): 8

Looney Tunes- Water Water, Every Hare (One of my favorites- when Bugs is doing Gossamer's hair at 4 minutes. Look out for the Ether scene 6 minutes in)

Cartoon a day (but really all at once): 7

Merrie Melodies- Thugs with dirty mugs- "Take that ya rat!"

Cartoon a day (but really all at once): 6

Merendero- commercial for Italian chocolate animated by my grandpappy

Cartoon a day (but really all at once): 5

The Point - narrated by Harry Nilsson (This one's for Emmanuel)

Cartoon a day (but really all at once): 4

Balloon Land (Keep a look out for the phallic balloon on the right in the title)

Cartoon a day (but really all at once): 3

Fleischer Studios- St. James Infirmary Blues (another Cab Calloway)

Cartoon a day (but really all at once): 2

Fleischer Studios- Swing, You Sinners!

The song of the dancing creature at 5:30 drives me wild.

Cartoon a day (but really all at once): 1

Fleischer Studios- Cab Calloway in "Minnie the Moocher" (cartoon begins a minute in, but Calloway's dancing is legendary)

Survival of the Fattest

Just some highlights. Everything else is kind of depressing.

I'm with the band

Sitting here whistling and farting (and not to forget, queefing*) has left me asking, must every orifice on my body make such a RACKET!?
Anyway, the sweet music flowing gracefully out of the choice holes on my body reminds me of how whole I feel from listening to music flowing gracefully into the choice holes on my head.

At Long Last:
Here are the Top 9 songs I look up on Youtube because I don't own the album (Think of it as a really terrible, inconvenient mix) In no particular order:

Squeeze- Up the Junction
At the top is a song which my favorite history teacher would play in the morning on his boom box. It's pretty cheesy, but I think because I loved that class I was somehow classically conditioned to link this song with the happy feelings of sitting in that room. I don't care if I've been brainwashed- let's boogie!
Sparks- This town ain't big enough for the both of us
Love the keyboardist. The singer reminds me of an aunt I never had.
Lou Reed- Perfect Day
Perfect song.
Steely Dan- Dirty Work
I'm glad a version popped up where only the album picture is up instead of a series of pictures which are mildly relevant to the content of the lyrics.
Neil Young- Heart of Gold
I recommend reading the accompanying video description. When it comes to putting up videos that are only for the audio, this guy's got it down.
Cynthia Hopkins- some song from "The Success of Failure (or The Failure of Success)"
I saw her performance at the walker under the same name as the album. It was part of a trilogy.... and it's irrelevant. I found this PART of a song on youtube. It's totally corny, but totally my jam. I like her voice, so fuck y'all.
Rod Stewart- Do ya think I'm sexy?
One of my favorite videos. I can't get enough of that Rod Stewart slideshow, and my answer is "yes." I once listened to it on a loop for three hours as I worked on a paper late into the night.
Janet Jackson- Together Again
Ok, I don't look up this one for the song so much as for the legendary video. I remember seeing the part at 3:25 in where Janet Jackson holds herself under a tree somewhere in the African wilderness for the first time as a 9 year old and making a mental note to myself to never rest until I could see that moment again. It's like I saw into the future and understood what a lame asshole I would become. But the song is also booty shakin good. (Plus 1:25 and 2:49 sound a little like the Full House theme song)
Leadbelly- In the Pines
Great song. Don't own any albums. I rented a three disc Leadbelly set from the library but it was soon overdue and I hadn't burned it onto my computer. Another day, another dollar.

Well, these are the 9 songs I've ever listened to in my life. Thank God for the internet, without it, that number might be 8!

*Look out for the upcoming feminist rap star and VJ DJ Queef Latina's new album "Stink in the Pink"

Beauty on a Budget

I think this is the look she was going for.
(Nothin but love to my girl and fashion idol Phyllis Diller - class act who dresses to the T only to be interviewed by a marionette)

There are two types of people in this world.
There are the beautiful, and there are- as I like to put it- those of us who may do our weekly window shopping at Macy's, but only manage to pass by the Looks Department on our way out the door. But I'll leave it to the Boogerface Blog Cheer Squad to put it in more explicit terms.
They're great for delivering all the bad news around the office.

Now, with a few of my helpful hints, there will be no need to spend all those hours on the corner hustlin the scrilla necessary to afford just the little rouge, midnight blue eyeshadow, and neon pink fishnets to get you by for the evening.

I'll start from the top.

Faces: The Moneymaker (Can you imagine what the W-2's would look like for that?!)
To take a bit of advice from Marge Simpson's mother Jacqueline Bouvier: "Ladies pinch. Whore's use rouge." For those of us with patchy complexions, bursting those cheek blood vessels is a great way of evening out those red spots and coaxing that erythrocyte-based beauty to the surface.
If you don't have fingers, call a friend on phone with big buttons! Parties are a great way to exchange comments about each others looks and swap tips for hypothetically effective methods of improvement.

Chins: The more the merrier
Many beauty experts may try to make you feel ashamed of double chins, but I consider them an asset. Think you might have a double chin? Wear two scarves! Don't be afraid to get creative.

Breasts: God's gift to bras
Too much? Not enough? Too many women focus on their breasts and end up forgetting all about the space between them. Someone's gotta separate those two, am I right? Don't be like every woman and let it fly under the radar! Remember, just a dollop of Vaseline on the chest can really make that cleavage shine. If you don't have any lying around the house, try just wiping your hands off there with the oil on them after eating a big, delicious bowl of discount potato chips.

The Rest of You

Body shape
The world is full of different shapes and sizes, and that rule applies to people too. We've got chubba jacksons and skinny malinks galore, and it's beautiful. However, that doesn't mean we can't all serve to pick up or drop some weight (also a great way to work out, I just learned!)
Some tips for the Skinny bitches of the world
Thin may be in, but last I heard, people who don't eat have a higher risk of dying than those who do! Need to gain weight? It's by no means difficult to fill out that figure with empty pockets. Seasonally, people often will put on a few pounds during the colder months as an insulating "Winter Weight" and maybe an economical way to skimp on an expensive parka.
Think about it: $100+ Eddie Bauer jacket vs. 3$ slice of Sbarro Pizza at the mall.
A high-quality coat may protect you from subzero temperatures and potential frostbite, but nothing can beat the comforting warmth of a high calorie slice of pizza. You make the call. Another idea- move somewhere with winter year-round! The winter pounds will keep packin on just like fluffy, white snow.
A Shoutout to my fatties
Keep it real ladies.

Feet: How many toes do you have, on a scale from 1-10?
Flip flops are cheap, versatile, flashy, and cheap. For this reason they are my favorite shoe. Owning over 2 pairs, I love the opportunity to mix and match them with my only pair of gauchos and, just, hey, go out on the town for fifteen minutes as I go on my walk to get a quarter gallon (NOT as cheap as it sounds!!!) of skim milk. The price of this sandal makes it no pain to "foot" the bill. The Flip Flop is such a great platform (sometimes) where you can express yourself. When you're feeling festive, get some nail polish and bring some attention to your one or two great assets.
Troubleshooting with painting your toes:
If nail polish is a luxury, vaseline (yet again!) is a great way to give those thinner coats of polish a nice glossy finish. If you have corns, feel free to daub a little bit on those too. Highlight your uniqueness.

So readers:
A penny for your thoughts! But only after you give me your two cents. Now that's another tip for you: Remember, a penny saved is a penny earned.
Now go spend that penny on some beauty for yourself, you earned it!

College/Farts (you get what you pay for)

Being a night owl has provides me with limitless opportunities. There's something to be said on the usefulness of the dorm study lounge for watching videos like this while also layin down some stinky farts.
At other times, you'll find me and my staff in the home office, a space which is many ways just a place underneath my bed wedged between two minifridges propped less than 3 feet away from each other. It's somewhere where I can just, you know, relax, take naps beneath a mattress, pretend I don't have another human being on the other side of a bed sheet I've fashioned as some kind of sound barrier, and let the reinforced pipeline of gas eek out of the vast wasteland I'm obliged to call my asshole. Just let it riiiide.
I sympathize for my roommate and their living situation, but their habit to wear earplugs to bed has really been a boon for any late night flatulence that may/will occur on my end. This is possibly related, but they also have a tendency to sleep with their pillows and blankets on top of their head like some kind of extra-cozy Heaven's Gate cult member.
One really has to wonder what happened to the sales of that Kool-Aid flavor after that happened.
Sleep tight, everyone.